Buffalo on my mind.

"Each town looks the same to me, the movies and the factories, and ev'ry stranger's face I see reminds me that I long to be, homeward bound."

Home seems such a simple thing but without it, I realize how complex it is. Nationality books I'm reading for my dissertation explain how nationality and a sense of home are created uniquely by individuals-it's a feeling, not easily definable. Sometimes I worry I'm losing my definition of home while I'm away from it. Since leaving Buffalo last September, I've discovered the homebody and Buffalo girl I really am. I've recognized the stability, routine and familiarity I crave. Buffalo, New York is where the rest of me is hiding.

Even though it's into my second year of adventures in England, I still have days where I'm confused about how and why I'm here-what this Buffalonian is doing hanging out with all these Brits?! Sometimes something will go wrong or I'll get asked about where I'm from and I'll feel instantly homesick. My mind jumps to the places, people and things I wish were near; part of me will never be completely happy this side of the Atlantic- something strange and unlike me, I'm always happy! It's fun to try new things and be unaware of what life will bring each day, but it's the absence of familiarity that reminds me I'm an outsider when I want to be on the inside; it gives me the "mean reds" (if you don't know...you should probably hit up Blockbuster for Breakfast at Tiffany's!). I suppose as a remedy to homesickness, this is a sort of love note to my Buffalo home.

Buffalo Marina

 

A Buffalo sense of humor.

Williamsville-my sweet little village.

They say you can never go home again, things always change (as I found this summer when I returned to Buffalo for the first time in nearly a year. I felt by living/experiencing a new country, I'd slightly outgrown what I knew and am not the same person who left Buffalo last year) and though I may not live the rest of my life in Buffalo, I always know that it'll stay the same in some ways. These things create what it is to be "home" for me: The Buffalo Sabres, The Buffalo Bills, Tim Hortons, a city who loves its sports (i.e. football and hockey!) as much as it loves its food (Chef's, Duff's, Wegmans-as seen in The Office, Wolter's Bakery, Perry's ice cream, Anderson's...the list goes on and on) and 14221-these things describe what I miss most.

Wegmans grocery store: no other grocery store compares.

Tim Hortons coffee.  Blonde and sweet-just like I like it.

During Fall (or Autumn as my English friends often remind me!), my favorite season, I need Buffalo most. The apple cider, Halloween decorations, crunchy leaves, smoke scented air and children's excitement for trick-or-treating established all of my good Autumn memories. Meeting cousins at my Aunt Priscilla's house (we trick-or-treated in her neighborhood often), seeing their Halloween costumes and shouting: "trick-or-treat, smell my feet, give me something good to eat, if you don't I don't care I'll pull down your underwear" when my brother, sister, me and our cousins trick-or-treated was fantastic. Hunting through piles of candy with my older brother and sister after trick-or-treating (one year, we had to wear coats over our costumes because it snowed!), is something I'll always remember. Our "blinky" light (a pumpkin face that you stick in the window which lights up) a Starbucks pumpkin spice latte and carving a pumpkin always signal Fall's true arrival.

mmm...Pumpkin Spice Latte

My older sister, Liz, and my older brother, Jon before trick-or-treats!

Handing out treats! (I'm not really that nice though, I probably just shot one of these kids with our fog machine!).

Sunday mornings in Buffalo meant getting up early for a Tim Horton's coffee (blonde and sweet, of course!), heading to the flea market in Clarence to look at old, dirty stuff (which sometimes, I would buy!) and enjoying an unrushed morning before heading back home to do the usual laundry and other boring tasks. These Sunday mornings were usually spent with my Mom. When she moved to England I'd go on my own (before I moved here also), or last summer, with my older sister when she visited (as she now resides in Brooklyn, New York). It was always the "thrill of the hunt" as my Mom says, at the flea market, and even if I found nothing I needed (in my case, I ALWAYS find things I don't need!), I had fun and briefly escaped the mundane tasks that awaited me.

Ryan Miller: "It's Miller time"

Hot sauce bleu cheese...probably packed with tons of proud Buffalo fans!

Even though I never really watch the Buffalo Bills (our football team), it doesn't mean I don't miss them. A sport I did watch, love and miss, is hockey. Our ice hockey team, the Buffalo Sabres, never disappoint me (even though we lost-or were cheated, depending on how you look at it-in the Stanley cup finals a few years back...).  The sounds of the crowd at HSBC arena chanting: "Let's go Buf-Fa-Lo," Rick Jeanerette's voice and Khachaturian's Saber Dance help define home. Nothing compares to the feel of an arena crammed with Sabres clad fans before, during or at the end of a hockey game (especially if we win!). It's incredible. I've brought my hockey jersey here to England to remind me of my favorite team and hopefully I'll experience English ice hockey with friends next year (Coventry Blaze is one of the teams here. I'd love to see how it compares to my NHL!).

My older sister, Liz and me at the Buffalo waterfront.

My best friend, Allison, of years and years in younger days.

Another close friend, Mary, and me at the Michael Buble concert.

The comfort of people who have known me for years (my entire life in some cases) is another element of a Buffalo home life, we're known as the "City of Good Neighbors." This group of friends, family and neighbors know me so well, they even know what I'm thinking (which can sometimes be annoying!) Friends I've had since elementary school, or high school often bring me back to old times when I see them. I remember silly things we did, listened to (really bad Michael Bolton included here...) and said; my absence from their presence is difficult. If I have a bad day (or a good one) in England, I want desperately to drive to their houses, go pick up a pizza (Bocce, of course-a true and classic Buffalo food), tell them all about my day and finish up our visit with a silly movie (include Office Space, Spice World or Wild America here). I miss people who know what makes me tick and can laugh at things we've shared in our history.

Bocce-the BEST pizza!

Allison and me again, still Hanson obsessed and still best friends since 2000.

However, it makes me smile when I see English students who remind me of my American friends-I love that two girls I know at school are so close and are often seen out together (on campus or off). Allison (one of my best Buffalo friends) and I have the same kind of friendship as the English girls I know from university. We were inseparable when we met in 9th grade and have been each other's dates for dances, had dozens of sleepovers, spent summers at beach houses in Canada together, love all the same things from movies, music (Hanson!) to books and celebrity crushes (right now? Twilight men!), had the same boring part time jobs and know each other like the back of our hands. It's nice to see a relationship here which mirrors ours and reminds me of who is waiting for me back in "rough Buff."

New English friends, Natalie and me.

Buffalo often conjures up images of snow. It's a staple in Buffalo conversation come November (that's usually when we get out first snow...but it can come in October-and has) and we obsess/complain/live by our powdery friend. My first drive in serious snowstorm-whiteout conditions made me feel like, "yeah, I'm from Buffalo." From November to around April our lives are controlled by that white, fluffy stuff and much as we complain, we love it really. When English people ask if we have white Christmases, I say, "damn straight, pretty much every year!" My family Christmas home videos always had snow falling in the living room window next to our sparkly tree. This year, I was over the moon that I woke to English snow (although not a true white Christmas since it didn't actually snow!). And nothing compares to the excitement a Buffalo kid feels when their school makes the "closed" list on the news channels. Buffalo snow days are for sleeping in, having soup (Campbell's or Progresso, of course) and hours spent bundled up outside making snowmen, snow angels and having snowball fights.

Our old house, covered in my favorite kind of precipitation.

Often at Christmastime in England, I wish the grocery store cookie aisle would have Jingle cookies staring back at me and eggnog waiting for me in the fridge section-I miss them and their lovely Christmasy feel. I long to see TBS commercials advertising their 24 hours of A Christmas Story, which, when I lived at home, I'd watch over and over! It never gets old! "It's a klinker!"

I loved taking walks at home, not only to get Tim Hortons coffee (there are three Tim's in walking distance of my house!) but to see my neighbors, friends, my sweet little village of Williamsville or to walk on city streets like Elmwood (remembering while there to hit up the cute shops and visit Pano's for some fantastic grub!). I miss the parades along Main street in Williamsville (there is usually one for Old Home Days-a village carnival- and for Memorial Day), the smell and sights of the Buffalo waterfront and architecture. Buffalo reminds me of everything I know: radio stations (Shredd and Ragan 103.3 of course), trips to Wegmans, La Bella Sicilia (my favorite Italian restaurant!) Reid's and Becker Farms, much awaited summers that were spent at the local pool and various friends' and neighbors' backyards, streets I've lived on (not to mention learned to drive on!), the streets my friends live on and the nasally way we say "taco" (and the fact that we have damn good ones-shamelessly plugging Mighty Taco now). I always loved Buffalo but after being away, I know now that I won't ever take her for granted.

Bunny, TT and Gingy (real names? Nicole, Katie and Angelica-but our fake names are much more fun!).

Reid's: just as gross as it looks, but the food is still delish.

Of course I miss my Queen city, but I'm trying to remember the luck I've had in being away from her; seeing and doing things (like visiting London and Paris) that I couldn't do at home. Drinking in pubs with friends, although possibly regular experiences for the friends I went with, those memories are a big deal to me. They're creating the library of English moments I'll look back on when I'm in the B-Lo again. These lovely English people I've met also make it more fun here, help me to enjoy my time away and not miss 716 so much- they are terrific people and I'm grateful to know them.

Early morning pictures on Leland and my Paris adventure.

Leland and me on the streets of Paris!

So, like a dog who's just been let loose from its leash, although I'm frightened of finishing university next year, starting a job, a new life and stepping into the big, bad world, I'll anxiously be sprinting home-a happy Buffalonian heading back to America with a trunk full of happy English memories.
**just wait...I'll have an "England on my mind" blog when I get get home! :)